๑۞๑ Welcome to Djazaïriya - the Algerian Women's Support Community Forum ๑۞๑
๑۞๑Welcome to Djazaïriya - A Women's Support Forum for Algeria!๑۞๑

We pray you feel comfortable in your new home here!

Guests and New members :

This is exclusive women's only support group for women of all walks of life, all with ties to Algeria. Each member is a cherished addition to our community. We are accepting of others' viewpoints and opinions on this forum.This forum is for WOMEN ONLY. For impostors, or if you just register out malicious intent please fear Allah:
{Woe to every lying slanderer!} (AL-Humazah)

No backbiting, belittling or bullying is tolerated. As well as no Anti- Algeroism, anti-Islamism, re-publishing content from the forum without premission from the orginal author, solicitation or advertizing with agenda any business or site. This is a warm and friendly forum for all women to enjoy!

To register follow the commands and choose your nickname, a pseudo or your real first name if you like:
ex: Yamina, Um Dawood, Um Samira Abdullah ... etc

Any usernames that appear to be masculine will not be approved and will be denied access to the forum.

While this is a mainly English speaking forum, there are several language groups and chat areas for members to talk or post in their native language. Women from all backgrounds (with ties to Algeria) are welcomed warmly.

Dear Valued Member:

Please sign in to view the forum and get active in the conversation!

BarakAllahu fikoum! - May God's Blessing be upon you!

Have a blessed day! And enjoy your forum! ๑۞๑
๑۞๑ Welcome to Djazaïriya - the Algerian Women's Support Community Forum ๑۞๑
Would you like to react to this message? Create an account in a few clicks or log in to continue.


๑۞๑ Djazaïriya - the Algerian Women's Support Community Forum welcomes you to your portal to all things Algerian! ๑۞๑
 
Forum  Who has been there for you? Empty  HomeHome  RegisterRegister  Log inLog in  

 

 Who has been there for you?

Go down 
AuthorMessage
Umm Faiza
Pearl
Pearl
Umm Faiza

Posts : 1265
Join date : 2011-12-05
Location : Algérie

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptySun Dec 25, 2011 7:48 pm

:3salam:

Through life's twists and turns, trails and happy moments, who has been there for you?
Back to top Go down
http://simplicitybythesea.blogspot.com/
UmmMohamed
Opal
Opal


Posts : 28
Join date : 2011-12-09

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptySun Dec 25, 2011 8:07 pm

As salam alaykuna wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakato

First it´s Allah but if we are talking about people i would say my mother.

When I converted, married my husband, got my children, started with niqab, planing to move to Algeria in all those times she was there for me. My mother died last year 2010 after some times sickness in cancer. I visit her on the hospital but one day I dicided to take a day off from work to go to here, just me and sit and talk. but I was 10 minutes too late. she had just died when I come there. It was hard, but I loved her and miss her very much, I just hope she felt that in the end.

As salam alaykunna wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakato
UmmMohamed
Back to top Go down
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 4:15 pm

great topic


well of course allah first


but after that my dh and my dad

even after i reverted and my mum banned all of the family from talking to me my dad did keep in touch and also was their for me through out my marriage and when i moved here


but the most of all is my dh no matter what has happened he has always been their even in the tough times and never gave up

so alhamdu `lilah for my dh
Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 4:24 pm

nice topic......Anisa your story is so touching.........I am asking myself something.....both Islam and Christianity commands us to respect our parents. In Islam in says even that especially the mothers, that 'the paradise is underneath mother's feet'.
Having said that, how do you dear Ladies deal with all kind of conflicted situations with your mothers, when for instance they find it offensive to them when you convert or you intend to marry a Muslim or to live in a Muslim country, and so on... ??
How do you deal with those difficult situation when your behaviour, your life choice anger your mothers/fathers?

My intention is never to anger my parents, especially the mother, that's why I find these situations very difficult.

Peace :-*
Back to top Go down
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 5:33 pm

you know some ppl say that that hadith is week allahu alum as to weither it is or not

but one thing i have always wondered does that hadith stand for non muslim mums too


i know sometime when my mother got angry in the beginning it`s pride that has made that ...and i know that she will come around one day


as for now their higher the eman the more you understand ...and for me that meant i found other ways around the anger

the last time i was home my mum had a blow up with my brother and my sister and as usual i`m always dragged into it

i found the best way was to let her have that moment and that's that she will stop ... but the rest of my family don't understand this and love to fight back with her

she did say to me one day that it was great having me their that when she feels like getting it off her chest she could without me fighting back and i`m one for joking to so i know how to make her smile and forget the whole thing

i think in order to keep peace find ways around the situation and keep your cool no matter what

that's what my mum seen the difference with me as before being muslim i would have done the same as my siblings

Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
ummishaq
Coral
Coral
ummishaq

Posts : 274
Join date : 2011-12-06
Location : London

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 5:47 pm

Of course Allah is the first.
But as for people, I would have to say my husband- we have been though some difficult times but alhamdulilah, from the moment we met he has always been there for me and supported me no matter what masha'Allah.

I love my parents and have great respect for them but like many reverts I have had some real issues with my family. The way I deal with conflicting situations is to explain my reasons and discuss it with them, I find that although they may not agree or like my choices after time they accept it and in some cases they have actually said 'you know what now you have explained it to me I understand it and it does actually make a lot of sense.' alhamdulilah .







www.algerianaction.co.uk - assisting children and families in Algeria since 2007[/size]

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out" ~ Dr. Seuss
Back to top Go down
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 5:51 pm

Anisa, what do you mean hadith is weak?
Isn't it Koran itself which tells that 'paradise is beneath Mother's feet'?
Which means we cannot diminish the importance of this commandment in Islam.

Other thing - yes, sometimes the parents get angry about our life choices becauses they feel shame - how come my daughter will marry a Muslim/Arab, and so on? Yes, you are right, in this sense it is all about the pride. But what if it happens and you live happily with your husband in another country and they still feel anger with you.......what then, how you cope with that? On one side you want to please GOD and follow his directions, to respect the parents, but on the other side you know they are not happy with you what u are doing in your life, fo example, they disagree with your conversion. Isn't it a kind of burden to carry?
So I ment how do u get on with these situations, and with your own feeling about this, about not being able to please everybody - yourself, your parents, and God.
Back to top Go down
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 5:55 pm

........I should add, it's not only question to Anisa, everyone welcome to join discussion.
Your comments here can be helpful.
cuppa
Back to top Go down
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 6:21 pm

Quote :
So I meant how do u get on with these situations, and with your own feeling about this, about not being able to please everybody - yourself, your parents, and God.


in the end you go with what allah says and leave it in his hands ... these are trial with must deal with and as long as we turn to allah he will help


it`s a hadith ... and on many forum ppl have pointed out that it was a week hadith ... because of the way it is used allahu alum

i take it for what it is sis

so it depends on what you choose to believe and follow

Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 6:25 pm

also here is a beautiful link about parents



http://muslimmatters.org/2011/11/15/...oor-to-jannah/

and half way through it will explain about the hadith and they it was said and they way ppl say it now i think that's why ppl probably say it`s week allahu alum ( only allah knows)
Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 7:14 pm

Sorry, but that link u gave doesn't open:(
Anyway, I think it doesn't matter really, bcos I believe God wants us to respect our parents. There is no need to deny it. Islam says that, Christianity says that, and probably other religions do the same.
Back to top Go down
UmmMohamed
Opal
Opal


Posts : 28
Join date : 2011-12-09

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 7:42 pm

As salam alaykunna wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakato

I haven´t had any problem with my mother about Islam and converting al hamdolillah. I think it was much because I was intressting in Islam before I met my husband so both my mother and father know I didn´t convert because of his, I think this made it easier for them Allahu Alem.

I remember when I started with niqab, this was hard for my mother, So she said that we could meet in my place or outside in my area but she didn´t wanted me to come to her. After a week she called me and said that she had been thinking and now it was ok for me to come to her home too. My mother asked lots of question about islam and muslims and she looked at Tv and read news papers and when she found something about islam she called me and we talked about it.
One thing that my mother really liked was when she met my friends. She went with me for an Eidparty and saw all this sister that was tataly black outside but on this party was dressed so beautiful and had fixed the hair and everybody were so nice to her. She then went for some basar and then a sister invited her for her walima, my mother went verry happy that day. When she met some sister on the metro they talked to her. They showed how nice this beautiful religion Islam is.

My father more thing that I converted to Islam is something that is like a stage that I will go through and then become like normal lol. I have been Muslimah for 13 years now so maybe he has change his mind. I don´t talk about religion with him and I meet him in his home or mine so I can have normal clothes. But he went to IKEA with me in niqab lol. when my husband asked him how it felt, he said "if she wants it it is her thing I don´t care about it".
My father say that he don´t like any religion and that he don´t believe in God at all. But I haven´t had any fight with him.

Even if this hadith is week there are other hadith about our mothers like this one:

Narrated Abu Huraira:

A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. "
Sahih al Bukhari

As salam alaykunna wa rahmatuAllahi wa barakato
UmmMohamed




Back to top Go down
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 8:04 pm

masha`allah umm mohammad


thats why i gave the link as it says alot about the respect of parent


http://muslimmatters.org/2011/11/15/yasir-qadhi-ramadan-reminder-parents-my-biggest-door-to-jannah/


here`s the link again see if you can open it
Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 8:19 pm

UmmMohamed wrote:

A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father. "
Sahih al Bukhari
That's very beautiful verse from Koran too. I heard about it as well.
Nice story UmmMohamed, happy for you that you are not conflicted with your parents bcos of either your conversion or marriage with a Muslim.

I think that it also depends where we come from whether from a country where can be a significant Muslim/Arab community found, like for example, in England, Sweden, US, Ireland, and so on, or whether from a country where there is almost none Muslim minority, like in Poland, where I come from and where my family lives. I think maybe for some of your families it's easier to accept the fact that u marry Muslims, bcos they know Muslims daily in daily live (could be from work, or school, shops, anywhere), not only from the biased news in TV/other media.
Back to top Go down
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 8:21 pm

ummishaq wrote:

I love my parents and have great respect for them but like many reverts I have had some real issues with my family. The way I deal with conflicting situations is to explain my reasons and discuss it with them, I find that although they may not agree or like my choices after time they accept it and in some cases they have actually said 'you know what now you have explained it to me I understand it and it does actually make a lot of sense.' alhamdulilah .
Happy for you cheers

Anisa, your link doesn't want to open.......
Back to top Go down
Anisa/umm imran
Turquoise
Turquoise
Anisa/umm imran

Posts : 351
Join date : 2011-12-07
Location : bacdhjarah algeirs

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 8:39 pm

oh malish sis


i have written it up in the islamic section so you can read it their


subhan`allah i dont know why it isnt opening for you cos when i click on it i does


heres the link to it


https://djazairiya.forumalgerie.net/t678-parents-my-biggest-door-to-jannah
Back to top Go down
http://anisa75.blogspot.com/
ummishaq
Coral
Coral
ummishaq

Posts : 274
Join date : 2011-12-06
Location : London

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptyFri Dec 30, 2011 8:49 pm

Masha'Allah Umm Mohammad it is lovely to read that you mother had the opportunity to meet with sisters and had such joyful times. I think sometimes because of media representation and the way muslimahs dress differently from the mainstream, people can think we are somehow not 'normal' and are surprised when they see us doing 'normal' things . Just last week my mum was at my house and I was saying something to my son and she remarked - that some things never change, you can change religion but some things are ingrained from your up-bringing. It made her happy to see that and feel that I wasn't so different after all.

Who has been there for you? 1471749470 for the link Anisa, masha'Allah it is a beautiful reminder.

Madame Dz, you are quite right all monothestic religions stress the importance of respecting parents. In terms of Islam, being kind to ones parents is mentioned in the Quran and there are many hadith teaching the same.
At times reverts may have particular difficulties with their parents regarding the change of religion and lifestyle (I know I have), in such situations I personally think the important point is to remain kind and respectful at all times but also to be conscious of the fact that as a Muslim the primary aim is to please Allah. If the contentious issue is something that Islam commands then one must do it irrespective of whether it upsets parents.







www.algerianaction.co.uk - assisting children and families in Algeria since 2007[/size]

"I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do."

"Why fit in when you were born to stand out" ~ Dr. Seuss
Back to top Go down
Madame_Dz
Tiger's Eye
Tiger's Eye
Madame_Dz

Posts : 190
Join date : 2011-12-07

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptySat Dec 31, 2011 1:53 pm

Anisa, thank you for copying it for us in another section, I loved reading it, it's very beautiful and very true. I know it all from my own heart, that the respect for the parents is the priority. As it was said there : 'You should give back to your parents what you received from them'. The parents need the best treatment from us. They were looking after us when we were little, taking care etc, now once we are adults it's our 'turn' to take care of them!

Islam is right and I love it about Islam that it commands people to care so much for the parents. It is close to my heart and my believes as the same commands Christianity, one of the 10 Commandmends is 'Respect your mother and father'.

Having said that, it is all very sad, that these days families fall apart in a sense of emigration, so many women travel away from their countries seeking for example jobs/money/better life/better education, etc, they meet their future husbands there, get married, live abroad away from the parents, visit them maybe 1-2 times a year.....or less. How about these cases? Is it fair with the parents? Is it showing them best treatment and respect by leaving them alone?

What do you ALL think about this bcos I know most of YOU live abroad (either in Algeria or anywhere else) away from the parents so how do you handle this?

Peace;-*
Back to top Go down
samia
Opal
Opal
samia

Posts : 42
Join date : 2011-12-06

Who has been there for you? Empty
PostSubject: Re: Who has been there for you?   Who has been there for you? EmptySun Jan 01, 2012 6:30 pm

i really alone until i find my girlfriend ani. i far from family
Back to top Go down
 
Who has been there for you?
Back to top 
Page 1 of 1

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
๑۞๑ Welcome to Djazaïriya - the Algerian Women's Support Community Forum ๑۞๑  ::  "El Qahwa" - The Coffee House Chat-
Jump to: